DAY ONE

Okay, let me tell you about day one of this diet. It was not pretty. I woke up feeling great—a beautiful California day, true blue sky and a huge sun shining. The birds chirped and the breeze was fresh and salty. It was Sunday so I had slept in and on top of that, it was also Valentine’s Day so I was basking in the love. With a sleepy grin on my face I shuffled into the kitchen, only to stand there in horror at the coffeemaker. No coffee. I am not to consume any coffee. Crap. It’s amazing how food and drink can elevate or depress our mood just with a snap-of-the-finger realization. Because at that instant, like a slap in the face, I felt like poop at the thought of not drinking a cup of silky joe, with a swirl of hazelnut creamer. So, I had to break myself out of it. “I’m okay, I’m good!” I lied to myself as I filled the tea kettle with water and placed it on the stove. With my hot water and lemon securely in my hand, I sat on the couch and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. To my further shock, Daniel strolled into the kitchen, ground the coffee beans, poured the water into the maker, and flipped the switch. As I got up to grab an orange from the fridge, he rummaged through it to take out the eggs, sausage and cheese. This was not Valentine’s Day. This was a complete day of incessant cruelty and torment.

By the afternoon, I felt like a prisoner in the house of plenty. We visited some friends later in the day and the first thing they did was plunk down a bowl of spicy cheese dip and tortilla chips. Deep breaths, in, out, in, out. I brought a behemoth salad to share and a spinach/banana smoothie. Needless to say, I ate the whole salad myself along with three cups of tea because who wants lettuce when you can have cheese dip and wine? The whole day was a certifiable test of my will. But I will say that I only had one physical side effect although it was enormous. My caffeine withdrawals were intense. It was like someone had their hands on both sides of my head, trying to push their hands together, squishing my brain. The pressure! I couldn’t focus very well all day and it caused me to not feel quite right, like I was forcing myself to laugh and enjoy the day. I can completely understand why people can’t maintain on a diet—I was already justifying why I deserved one little sippy of coffee at the end of day one. But I pulled through! I ended my evening with a little snack—a handful of carrots and an avocado. Thank god I only have six more days to go…